A fine day today. My cousin Tania came over and we decided to bake cupcakes.
Here are some pics
the batter
our favorite frosting
the final result
Then I spent the rest of my day lying on my bed, watching the last song and the perks of being a wallflower. Life's good.
So far holiday has been really great.
Have a great holiday people!
How are we already in 2013 in 20 days? Time flies.
Anyway, so far, December has been amazing. Everything is going great. I'm still going through the same routine, but now I feel like I can see things differently, in a whole different perspective. A huge decrease in complaining and whining, and everything is just.. beautiful.
Despite all the struggles and the obstacles, the ups-and-downs,
it is almost two in the morning and i can't sleep yet. i am left lying down on my bed, overwhelmed, completely eaten by my own thoughts. my heart pounds as the thoughts of things i wish i did not do, things i wish i did differently, things i wish i did right, flows through my mind, slowly yet steadily. i am left wondering how things would be right now if i took a second thought, how my life would be gazillion times better right now if i did things differently.
the times i wish i could rewind and fix the things i didn't do right...
it is almost two in the morning and regret is all that's left.
Halo.
Setelah beberapa lama mengabaikan blog, akhirnya lumayan kangen juga dan terdorong untuk nulis lagi.
Penyakit lama nih.. Entah kenapa dari dulu setiap bikin blog ngga pernah awet, setelah beberapa bulan selalu kena writer's block dan blognya lumayan terabaikan... yang biasanya beberapa bulan kemudian malah malu baca tulisan sendiri, terus ujung ujungnya delete blog.
Hidup saya akhir akhir ini... membaik. Bisa dilihat di post saya sebelum sebelumnya, mayoritas post saya isinya cuma mencurahkan kemarahan, atau kesedihan. Saya baru sadar, ternyata saya belum pernah sekalipun bikin post yang senang.
Nah, akhir akhir ini... Entah kenapa saya merasa hidup saya membaik. Dalam semua hal. Padahal semuanya masih sama saja. Jadwal yang sama, rutinitas yang sama, bertemu orang orang yang sama. Tapi entah kenapa akhir akhir ini rasanya lebih menyenangkan.
Beberapa minggu yang lalu adalah periode dimana saya sedang mengalami hari hari yang tidak menyenangkan. Dan rasanya semua hal hal tidak menyenangkan itu kayak domino. Saat satu hal bermasalah, saya jadi bad mood, lalu hal hal lain dalam hari itu semuanya menjadi bermasalah. Semakin saya merasa hidup saya bermasalah, semakin bermasalahlah hidup saya.
Mungkin benar kata orang orang, what you resist persists. Mungkin itu alasan mengapa semakin saya merasa buruk pada suatu keadaan, semakin memburuk keadaan itu. Semakin saya mencoba lepas dari suatu situasi yang buruk, saya malah makin terikat dengan keadaan itu. Semakin saya bersyukur terhadap sesuatu, sesuatu itu menjadi makin baik.
Dan saya selalu berusaha mengingatkan diri saya bahwa dalam setiap hal, bahkan dalam cobaan pun, selalu ada sesuatu untuk disyukuri.
Cuma, ya.... Kadang kadang, gagal. Kadang emosi menghalangi saya untuk berpikir jernih.
Sekarang saya berharap kondisi seperti ini bisa bertahan terus, dan agar saya bisa bersyukur dalam masalah sekalipun :)
Oiya, hari ini saya menemukan lagu yang sangat enak didengar. Judulnya Moon and Sun. Saya sudah memencet replay di video ini berkali kali... Selain karena lagunya enak, videonya diambil dari salah satu TV show kesukaan saya, Grey's Anatomy.
"We always felt so good together"
Wherever you are and whatever you are doing right now,
Have a great saturday night people :)
This woman right here is just damn stunning.... very beautiful inside and out. She's a true Indonesian beauty, who shows elegance and grace in her every move. She's truly an inspiration.
I'm drowning in furiousity I feel like flaying everyone right now. I feel like stabbing someone's chest repeatedly . I feel like sticking someone to the wall with a nailgun. I feel like choking someone to death.
I don't know, I feel like people are just damn noisy right now and every single thing they do irritates me.
I'm so mad right now my heart races...
I don't even know why.
And right now I'd kill only to break free.
I once heard that sleep deprivation will make your emotion goes haywire.. Heck, now I know what it feels like. Lack of sleep really stirs me up inside.
Or maybe, this is just the side effect of, you know, that time of the month.
Or maybe this has nothing to do with anything, maybe it's just me and my weird twisted mind.
Okay I feel a tad bit better now.
Have a nice day people.
and in silence, she cried. the fact she's gradually losing her sanity kills her.
she's tired of losing sight of what she really wants and she wandered around trying to find direction but she ended up going nowhere. she's lostttttttttt and she's slowly losing her sanity.
It was a cold night in early 2012 when I finally found the courage I never knew that I had been hiding under my skin in between my bones. I guess I was just saving it for the right time after all those years and I guess that night was it, the night that I was so convinced that I had the guts. I stood in the doorway at the bottom of the stairs. The cold air rushed in through the open door and shook the trees but my courage and my strong will held me still. I took my steps in and there it was, there you were. Perplexed, I stood there with frozen hands and frozen stares. My heart raced. ; I stood there still, astounded, never thought that I could be brought that far.
I was in the verge to burst in tears of joy when I found that the same night, was the end of everything. All the things I thought I'd had, I never got to see.
I never wanted to remember it the way I do, but that was not something I could change.
I found the courage once before, I'm hoping to find it again soon.
Please, please, I'd kill only to find it back. Please, let me find back the courage I once had.
I once heard that easily distracted people are usually more creative than regular people.
I must be really creative then :)
it's 1:46 a.m and I'm still stuck on my physics worksheets. Physics midterm test 5 hours and I'm not ready yet.
Even when I intended to open physics past papers, I ended up here, writing this post. And in front of me are 5 tabs consisting of blogger, facebook, tumblr and youtube... Damn I got distracted so easily.
So far AS level has been really frustating. I mean really really frustating. I thought IGCSE was the hardest but CIE proved me wrong. Pfff
I used to like white toblerone so much that I used it as my url
28: Favourite movie
Nick and Norah's infinite playlist
29: Favourite song
Clarity
30: Favourite band
The Trees and The Wild <3
31: How I feel right now
Dizzy
32: Someone I love
is awesome
33: My current relationship status
Taken
34: My relationship with my parents
Is awesome
35: Favourite holiday
Anywhere with my loved ones
36: Tattoos and piercing i have
Dont have any
37: Tattoos and piercing i want
havent thought of one yet
38: The reason I joined Tumblr
I don't even know why but i like it so far
39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?
No. Maybe
40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
Yea
41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
Ayu, yes on the cheek
42: When did I last hold hands?
Forgot
43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
20-30 mins
45: Where am I right now?
Jakarta
46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
I've never been drunk before but if I were...My friends, I guess
47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
Depends
48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
Yes
49: Am I excited for anything?
Right now? Nope
50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
Yes
51: How often do I wear a fake smile?
Not that often
52: When was the last time I hugged someone?
Forgot
53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?
Ummm okay?
54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
Yes
55: What is something I disliked about today?
Not going to school due to ever and headache
56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
Katy Perry, and Remedy Waloni. Met him once though
57: What do I think about most?
Myself
58: What’s my strangest talent?
I don't know
59: Do I have any strange phobias?
Nope
60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
Both
61: What was the last lie I told?
I told my mom there's no test today
62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
Both
63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
yes, nope
64: Do I believe in magic?
No
65: Do I believe in luck?
Yes
66: What's the weather like right now?
Sunny
67: What was the last book I've read?
Lipstick Jungle
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?
Yeap
69: Do I have any nicknames?
Acit, Pepi (-_-)
70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?
Fell off the window that I needed like 10 stitches on my head
71: Do I spend money or save it?
Both
72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?
No :(
73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?
A totebag
74: Favourite animal
Puppies
75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
Sleeping
76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
I dont know
77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
Anything with beats
78: How can you win my heart?
Many ways
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
"Told you I was feeling ill" ahaha
80: What is my favorite word?
ahaha
81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr
idk
82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
Stop minding your own business
83: Do I have any relatives in jail?
Nope
84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?
Mind reading
85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
Do I look ugly?
86: What is my current desktop picture?
Galaxy stuffs
87: Had sex?
No
88: Bought condoms?
No
89: Gotten pregnant?
No
90: Failed a class?
No
91: Kissed a boy?
Yes
92: Kissed a girl?
Yes
93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
No
94: Had job?
No
95: Left the house without my wallet?
Yea
96: Bullied someone on the internet?
No
97: Had sex in public?
No
98: Played on a sports team?
Yes
99: Smoked weed?
Nope
100: Did drugs?
No
101: Smoked cigarettes?
Nope
102: Drank alcohol?
On christmas
103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
I used to be one
104: Been overweight?
Always
105: Been underweight?
Never
106: Been to a wedding?
Yes
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
Yes
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
Yes
109: Been outside my home country?
Yes
110: Gotten my heart broken?
Yes
111: Been to a professional sports game?
Yes
112: Broken a bone?
No
113: Cut myself?
Yes
114: Been to prom?
Yes
115: Been in airplane?
Yes
116: Fly by helicopter?
No
117: What concerts have I been to?
Cobra Starships, All time low, Jason mraz, The Trees and The Wild
118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?.
No
119: Learned another language?
Yes
120: Wore make up?
Yeap
123: Dyed my hair?
Nope
124: Voted in a presidential election?
Not legal yet
125: Rode in an ambulance?
No
126: Had a surgery?
Yeap
127: Met someone famous?
Yep
128: Stalked someone on a social network?
Always
130: Been fishing?
Yeap
131: Helped with charity?
Yes
132: Been rejected by a crush?
No
133: Broken a mirror?
Yep
134: What do I want for birthday?
I don't know
135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?
2. Haven't thought of that yet
136: Was I named after anyone?
No
137: Do I like my handwriting?
Not really
138: What was my favourite toy as a child?
Barbie
139: Favourite Tv Show?
HIMYM
140: Where do I want to live when older?
New York or Canada
141: Play any musical instrument?
Piano, Violin and Guitar
142: One of my scars, how did I get it?
Near my elbow, I fell of my bicycle when I was 10
143: Favourite pizza toping?
Anything with cheese
144: Am I afraid of the dark?
Yea
145: Am I afraid of heights?
Not really
146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
Yes
147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
Yea. A month ago
148: What I'm really bad at
Not procrastinating
149: What my greatest achievements are
Havent thought of that yet
150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me
August 2012 has probably been one of the greatest months in my life.
I passed the 1st selection. My IGCSE result has been announced and i'm pretty proud of myself. Met a bunch of old friends. Had a lot of unexpected yet exciting talks. I get to know a lot of friends much better than before. Bought some stuffs from my wish list. Heard a lot of new songs. Earned some cash. Apologized and forgave.
And I was brought much closer to this guy than I was before.
August has been pretty awesome so far.
And once again, God, I can never thank you enough.
i just downloaded the Overexposed album... and I love it. My favorite songs are Sad and Wipe Your Eyes, I've been repeating both since 3 hours ago.
i took a nap and a sip of coffee after lunch and now i can't sleep. my bad.
and i have to be up in 2 hours. duh. and i'm having a chem quiz in 8 hours.
wish me luck!
chem test... right. i'm in science class, i've made up my mind.
i don't know why, though.
i don't usually talk about my problems on blogger but frankly, i'm quite scared seeing most of my friends making plans and decisions on following their dreams. Most of them already have that clear image of what and where they're going t to be 10 years from now, and what they are going to major in.
while i'm sitting here not knowing what my passion really is. i mean i like economics, i like math and i like physics and stuffs but i'm don't like them enough to take them(or one of them) as my major. like everything's vague and i don't even know what i really want. my friends keep reminding me that i just haven't found my passion yet and i'm going to, soon, but who knows?
i'm afraid of taking the wrong turn. afraid of walking a wrong route and and afraid of not being able to come back, to start everything all over again.
God, lead me.
hello there! it's been a while since the last time I actually wrote something due to IGCSE and final exam and other school stuffs. Since the exams are finally over now I'm going to start writing again. I am now running to be a part of the student council, and there's still a long way to run so... wish me luck.
Anyway, I just came back from Singapore. My 4-day-trip to spore was probably one of the best since i had Tania, my 14 y.o cousin, to keep me company. It's my first time travelling abroad with her. We share the same taste in fashion and music and stuffs since we were just toddlers. it's so nice to have her around, especially when it comes to shopping. we walked around from orchard central to ion, from 5pm until closing time every night. Duh, i miss her already.
Oh ya, I just found this beautiful song from one of my favorite bands on earth. Coldplay :)
Oh no, I spun a web and it's tangled up with me.
I never meant to cause you trouble, and I never meant to do you wrong.
